FINALLY THE FIRST PART OF A BOOK I'M MAKING

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VAMPRITCH

Vampire

I pulled on my pants and hoped that we would NOT have to stay at that dumb, human’s house for more than I could bear. You must be thinking at this point that I am crazy, and have no social life. Think again. I don’t think many human people would want to be friends with a 3,000 year old vampire named Isabelle Vanderhoveon from the Old World, and MARK MY WORDS, NOT allowed to use her powers because if just one human sees me, I’ll die because of judges from The Old World. The Old World just happens to be a world parallel to yours that was taken over by knaves. Plenty of genie, witches, warlocks, vampires, and werewolves came to the New World, yours, to escape the knaves. Sadly not all of them made it. AND according to some people who are magical beings that I know there seems to be 4 knaves here in The New World trying to take over so that their ruler Cornicious can come. How they are going to get that much power is beyond me but I rather not think about it seeing that it is only a rumor. So, you might as well be sure that at least five witches, two vampires, one werewolf, if you’re lucky, three warlocks, and even though you probably don’t, you also have a chance of knowing one genie. And last, if you simply have so much bad luck, 1 knave. However, if you’re in North Dakota, where I live, you probably know no magical being, unless you know me, and if you know me, you’d wish you never knew me, or any magical being. Now that we’re done with the introduction, let’s PLEASE move on to the important part!

I plopped downstairs and presented myself with a sarcastic flair to my dad.

“How do I look?”

My dad viewed me with the air of a professional stylist. Then his eyebrow arched and did NOT look like it was coming back down.

“You wore your pants that you used to scrape dung out of the dragon stalls in the Old World? Couldn’t you have chosen something more, APPROPRIATE, for this occasion, OUR FIRST HUMAN MEETING?”

I personally thought this was very much so appropriate but there was no use in arguing so I trudged upstairs and to put on something “suitable”. Even though I am a vampire and tend to look at things in a bad way, I noticed that even though we were going to see a human I was lucky we weren’t going to see a witch. Every vampire knows that witches are the filthiest rottenest creatures in The Old World. We vampires mainly hold a grudge against all witches because in the olden days about 9 centuries back our beautiful blood, vampire, ruled The Old World in the highest time of our empire, The Golden Era. Then this AWFUL witch named Bertha killed our great ruler and witches ruled the throne from there ever after. Yeah, and we thought that killing someone wasn’t a sign of ‘respect’, thus we still hold our grudge. I went downstairs once again after changing and when I showed my dad his eyebrow, believe it or not, went down. But then he said 4 horrible words

“Get in the car.”

See even though we vampires live in caves we tend to shrine away from small enclosed spaces, mainly cars because if you ask me cars are a scare trap on wheels. So you can imagine the look of horror had on my face when he told me to do this. He looked at my face and a look of sympathy crossed his face and I new that he knew exactly how I felt.

“Well,” he said,” I wouldn’t normally do this for a human meeting, but go ahead and ask your mom for a targali pill.”

My stomach whooped. It would NOT be coughing up vomit at all on the car ride. Oh I almost forgot to mention a targali pill twist the vampires stomach around so that it won’t vomit or feel sick in small cramped spaces. I quickly ran over to my mother and asked for a pill. After confirming that my dad had given me permission she reluctantly gave me a few to use as long as promised not to take it in front of any humans. Armed with my pills I stepped into the depths of the horrible monsters flaming mouth, a.k.a. our car. Now that my stomach was settled I was ready, to show that human what I was made of and that she most CERTAINLY did NOT want to see me EVER AGAIN.

Witch

YESYESYESYESYESYES!!! I can’t believe it! We are going to meet humans for the very first time! They even have a girl that is 10, just like me, and we even have the same first and last names, even though I prefer to be called Izzy instead of Isabelle. This is soooooo perfect we are going to be best friends! I wonder what she’d like to do? I know that I like tinkering with magic and spells but a human probably wouldn’t do those things, should I be chipper, or silent and cool? ARGHHHH too many questions!!! I hate when this happens because when a witch gets overcrowded with questions sparks start to fly out of their heads because witches are so used to knowing things that when they don’t their brain takes it as an attack and deploys sparks to fight it off! “Calm down Izzy, calm down.” Whew, that was a close call; I DO NOT want to burn the house down with my sparks. Oh well I’ll figure out what she likes when she gets here, until then I’ll read the Magical Beings Idiot Guide To: How To Blend In With Humans. After making myself a frothy cup of steaming hot cocoa I settled down in my favorite fuzzy chair and began to read. Perfect timing, 1 minute later the doorbell rang and I jumped out of my chair, spilling BURNING HOT cocoa all over my clothes and self! NOOoooooooo! Now I won’t be able to meet then at the door like a proper person!!! (Even though this is minor to you I was very distressed.) WAIT, I’m a WITCH! Doing! I can use my powers to immediately change! I am such an idiot at times. Well, enough of this jibber jabber in my head, time to conjure up some clothes,

“ABSOLUTELEWONDEROUCIOUSAWSOMEAPIPACCAL!” (My spell word, I need it to conjure anything up at all.)

Yes! Cocoa drenched me no more. And just in time, I might add for my parents just opened the door and were greeting our guests. I quickly sidled up to them and we began greeting them the way it said to greet humans in our book,

“Hello! How are you, I’m great, thank you for asking! Yadayada yada yada!

Of course you had to remember that with humans EVERYTHING has to be said with a happy voice, or at least that’s what our book says. So basically even if the world is hurtling toward the Sun we still have to act happy. I don’t really get that rule but I don’t really get humans either. Once we were done with these obviously very chipper greetings I began to study the girl, Isabelle. She was almost a carbon copy of me except for the way she was dressed and her unusually long fingernails painted red. We both had long, wavy, black hair that was very thick. We were both tall and athletic as well as geniuses in all subjects except animation. And, we both like stuffing ourselves with food. We made a pretty good pair, but practically every 5 seconds Isabelle would look at my throat and lick her lips. This made me very uncomfortable and the fact that my book mentioned nothing about humans behaving like this disturbed me even more. But it was the fact that I knew only one species in both The Old Word and The New World that acted like this was the thing that really irked me, because I knew that the only species that would do this were the vampires. Vampires, YUCK! I’ve never met one and I hope not to at all in my life. They suck blood out of poor, helpless, innocent creatures that have done nothing to them; and, you can’t really call living a crime can you?! And, (yes, there is an and) they kill so many beings just so they can feast! I mean, really why can’t they be vegetarians instead of blood drinking CANNIBALS!!! I personally think that the great witch Bertha helped both of the Worlds when she killed the vampire empire seeing that they only bring chaos to the government and were never made to rule. I guess you could also call it payback to some extent because the only reason the vampires came to rule is because they cheated us out of our land and power. See long ago there was a big war in The Old World called the Power Kill when all of the tribes, warlocks, werewolves, vampires, and genies began to kill and have war just to get the throne and high power which was at the time occupied by us, the witches. We were in an, admittedly, very bad position because our King and Queen had turned all our navy into monks because they did not believe in war and thought that they would be left in peace since they had gwendolwen (I believe that the English word is magic but we really prefer gwendolwen because magic sounds like the stuff that faeries do with their little wands.) Well they obviously were not left in peace at all and after five days at war we were in one huge pickle for we had nothing left to defend ourselves with. Then came the vampires. Oh sure, at first they were like angels who had descended from above, offering us an alliance with a treaty and all the fancy-shmancy ‘oaths’ and not to mention their ‘promises’. I don’t really blame the Queen for what she did next. Really she had no other choice, her husband was at war with not even a fraction of a chance of winning and her whole EMPIRE was about to fall. So without even reading the alliance treaty she signed it and hoped for the best. At the end of the war there was good news, and bad news. The good news was that we had, in a way, won. The bad news was that the vampires had tricked us with their so-called ‘alliance treaty’. Instead of saying that the witches would continue to rule if the alliance won, it went something like this,

WE THE VAMPIRES

Propose to the esteemed race of witches ……………………………………………flattery…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….flattery………………………………………..flattery………………………………………………………………………..……………………………………………………flattery…………………………………………………………………………. we hope you will make this alliance with us.

The Queen of Witches _____________ The King of Vampires ___________________

Fine print: If this alliance succeeds to win the vampires will go to the throne and the witches will no longer rule.

As you can see our great Queen failed to realize the fine print and thus she threw our rule into ruins. Finally, I am done with explaining what you would have learned if you had gone to witch school in 1^st grade. Now let us please get a MOVE ON! OK! so there I was wondering WHY IN THE WORLD SHE WAS STARING AT MY THROAT when for the first time she said something in whole evening,

“You’re a witch and don’t try to deny it.”

I giggled nervously, “I didn’t know that you thought I was so mean.”

“Tut tut, so ignorant these days, it’s not like that little ‘I didn’t know that you thought I was so mean’ excuse is going to work on moi. And just to let you know that I am not just talking crazy talk, I mean that you are the type of magical being that goes around doing magic, or as your species calls it, gwendolwen.

“A YAYAY!” I silently screamed,” How does SHE know THAT!” Then it hit me.

I chuckled and rested my fingertips on each other in a classic Sherlock Holmes position, I even half closed my eyes just as he would have done. “Aha, you think you are so smart don’t you? Well, now that you have given me so many clues I will venture to say that you are a vampire, just like you ventured to say I was a witch.”

A flash of bewilderment came upon her face, but only for a second, then she narrowed her eyes into slits.

“You filthy rag monkey, do you know what your race did to mine!!! We RULED THE OLD WORLD and then YOU guys came and killed our ruler!”

“Don’t be so touchy you goth-girl wannabe. We were only getting our revenge, how do you think it feels to be tricked out of all of your power!!! Oh, and for your information that ‘alliance treaty’ trick is totally last century.”

She gasped “Now, don’t you get a big mouth or I will personally glue your lips together, free of charge! And don’t even try to retort that because by the time you think of something worth saying I’ll be long gone because I’m going to tell my parents to get me out of here NOW!”

“Oh please, it would be my pleasure!”

“FINE!”

“FINE!”

Isabelle stomped out of the room and began to parade around her dad while saying,” Dad, lets get out of here they’re all witches!”

“ Honey, don’t you think that’s a little of a rash decision, we don’t KNOW that.” said Mrs. Vanderhoven as she gave my parents one of those looks that plainly says, kids these days.

“The dumb girl admitted it to me HERSELF!”

“WHAT! WHY THOSE LITTLE SCROUNDRELS! Oh, sorry honey, what I mean is there’s no reason to get mad, they might have RUINED OUR EMPIRE but we can still be polite.” said her dad.

My mom stood up. “WHAT! Did you say what I thought you said!

This time Mrs. Vanderhoveon answered.” What did you expect us to say, that you did a wonderful thing in killing our ruler! And don’t you know that vampires are supposed to do the killing stuff with their long pointy fangs, so instead of going around and killing people maybe you should mind your own business!

“WELL I’m sure you’ll find that we are minding our own business when we kick you out of our house!” yelled my dad as I silently cheered him on.

“WE WOULD BE GLAD TO!” came the provoked retort from Mr. Vanderhoveon and just like that they disappeared. After they left my mom laid down on the sofa with a wet towel on her forehead, and my dad went up to his room. Well, if that isn’t called a weird evening I don’t know what is.

Vampire

MY GREATEST NIGHTMARE JUST CAME TRUE! I was hoping that I would never in my whole miserable life have to meet a witch. HA! As if life would be kind enough to let me to get away with never seeing a witch. But seriously, as if a human, or as we vampires call them, mungles, was not horrible and unpleasant enough to meet I had to go and meet a disgusting WITCH WHO WAS PRETENDING TO BE A MUNGLE!!! Really the witches these days are so LOW! Pretending to be a mungle is extremely undignified. Well at least I get to be among my own kind tomorrow. My mom and dad decided to sign me up for a summer camp designed just for vampires. (YES!!!) How does this camp just for vampires survive in a world for mungles, you ask? Well you see, when we first came to The New World a lot of The Elders, magical beings from whatever group, ( vampires, werewolves, warlocks, witches, and genie) that were around 1900 or more centuries old simply insisted that even if we came to The New World just to escape the knaves the younger people must keep on learning their trades of magic and not let our noble magical inheritance die. They were so set on this idea that they began to make camps for all the groups of magical beings. There were, very regretfully, only 5 out of 50 Elders that were able to make it to The New World, but all of these Elders were from different tribes. Thus, we were able to have a camp for the different types of creatures in The Old World. So, are you satisfied with the answer to your question now? If so lets go on with my story, wait, you have ANOTHER question, well OK. Oh, you want to know how they can tell if you are really a magical species? It’s quite simple actually. Each of the species carries certain traits which are only theirs. For instance in the case of the vampires our eyeteeth always have, for some weird reason no one can explain, the first letter of our names etched into them. Of course, we can easily hide this oddly placed hieroglyphic, but we choose not to while they are examining us for it to let us into the camp. FINALLY, we are done with the questions and answers and we can get on to the IMPORTANT PART.

So, there I was ready to register myself into a life of happiness with my own kind were I could swoop down at night, kill animals and then of course drink their blood. I would actually prefer the taste of mungle which is pleasantly salty but that is strictly forbidden because if just one person goes missing for just an hour the mungles will immediately call the police and figure out who did it. If I were to go missing my parents wouldn’t call anyone until 2 days after because they now that I am very capable of taking care of myself. I guess that the parents of those mungles don’t think of their younglings of whatever age as very capable.

There is, believe it or not, much more to the vampire’s camp that I mentioned then just killing and pigging out. No no no, not at all. They will also teach us how to transform into different objects or organisms of our choosing, AND if we already know how to transform, (NOT ME!)they would teach us how to do it quicker and smoother. Personally going to this camp made just for people of my kind is WAAAAY overdue. And I think I can even say that if it weren’t for this one little thing my day would have been absolutely perfect. Now here is the revealing of the one MAJOR detail that ruined my entire day, while I was registering for vampire camp I saw someone who made me jump. Right in front of me registering (obviously) for witch camp was Izzy. BLEH! Just seeing that overly happy witch girl made my heart leap. I tried to scooch behind my parents before she noticed me because even though I’m not a scaredy-cat who try’s to slink away from fights, I did most definitely not want to ruin my perfect dream day. To bad that I wasn’t fast enough. I was 3 seconds away from being concealed by my parents bodies when BAM! she turned around and saw me. Her eyes immediately became the size of Sun and then she pulled her dad’s pants and when HE turned around said something that I couldn’t make out and then pointed to us. As soon as she pointed I suddenly had a very good idea of what she said and it ran along the lines of this, daddy look over there those sore headed loser vampires who came to our house yesterday night are HERE signing up for camp. I grunted at the idea of someone so inferior to myself saying that about moi. I then proceeded to turn my back to her, and then tapped my dad’s arm which happened to be the only body part reachable to me. He turned around and then I said,

“Look over there those awful witches are HERE!” My dad looked over his shoulder and once he saw them said,

“Oh, c’mon at least you guys aren’t going to the same camp, and there is definitely no way you’re going to see her at VAMPIRE CAMP. Am I right, or am I right?

I sighed, “OK, admittedly you are right and there’s definitely no way I’m going to see her. So there’s no reason for me to spoil my day, even though I pretty much already have.” After that it was very fast, we were last in line (so were those witches and THEY, sadly, ALSO made it.) so we barley made it, and once we were done we were in a hurry to leave. BUT if ONLY we had turned around while leaving. If ONLY we had seen those 2 registration people for witches and vampires bump into each other. If ONLY we had seen my registration form and Izzy’s mix, oh how different life would be.

WITCH

I just cannot escape those horrible vampires, now can I? They have to turn up everywhere and never give me any peace of mind! Why just yesterday they turned up at that camp registration place! At least I’m finally going to witch camp; I’ve never gone there and am very curious to find out what they do there. We just got the acceptance letter in the Magic Ways Mail Service. The news of me going there is so recent that I have just begun backing my bag. Although I am very excited to go to the camp, I can not help observing what an odd place they had set it up. According to the manual we received we would be in a dark alleyway in the deserted parts of the countryside. It really struck me as very strange but I was sure they wouldn’t put us to harm in any way and have a very good reason that they should have the camp in such place. ‘CLICK’ yes, my suitcase was finally done and I would just be able to make to the magical train which took all the magical beings to the camp that they belonged to. Once we got to the station I hugged my mom and dad good-bye and hopped on to the train that would lead me to my awesome adventure. I instinctively moved toward back because even though I am what you would call a social butterfly, I don’t like nosiness and there’s a lot of people in front so there is usually a loudness that I don’t like. Almost as soon as I sat down someone sat down next to me.

“Let me guess, you don’t like the noise levels in the front as well.”

I gave her one of my hardest, finest, stares.

“Oh come on!” she exclaimed while laughing heartily, “ I didn’t even do ANY GWENDOLWEN, there is something called simple reasoning you know. Haven’t you ever read Sherlock Holmes?

“ In fact I do.” I said with hurt pride for I consider reading Sherlock Holmes to be one of my big achievements.

“Hey hey, slow down. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, its just HE would have figured out what I said in a second.”

I smiled, “I guess you’re right, want to sit here?”

She snorted, “I would have sat down even if you didn’t ask, but now that you did I think I shall.” And then, promptly, sat down.

“Sooooooooooo, remind me you like to do what other than read?

“Great conversation starter.” I congratulated her sarcastically.

“I’d like to see you think of a better one.” She said disbelievingly.

“Watch and learn. Hello, how are you, what is your name and what tribe are you from.”

“Very good, much better than my opening anyhow. And since it so good I will honor you with an answer. I am a witch whose mom is a witch but dad is a genie. We’re not sure but we think that the reason I can only operate in warm weather is because of my dad being a genie and that of course making me half genie. And you should now they can only operate in warm weather. I also have the power to grant only 1 wish to the person who lets me out of my bottle, since I’m only HALF genie. Oh and I almost forgot, my name is Agejel. So you know my answer now let’s hit the same question back to you. ”

“Alright, but my answer is not nearly as exciting as yours. My name is Izzy am a witch. My mother is a witch and my dad is a werewolf. Because my dad is a werewolf my gwendolwen always goes KAPLOOIE on nights with a full moon, but I suppose I’m lucky that I don’t turn into a werewolf like dad. If you travel into the deep roots of my family you will find that my great-great-grandma, who died at the young age of 9000 years, was from the longs lost tribe of the black witches. Even though she wasn’t the sweet old grandma most people have, she was well respected in her old village. And my mother says that I may have inherited some of the black magic she had, which was Fyre.”

“If you don’t call that exciting I don’t know what you would call it, it’s totally awesome! I mean, inheriting black magic is breathtaking! If you really have inherited it you would be completely UNSTOPABLE! Plus, as a completely different subject, we’re both witches so we’re going to the same camp! Wait, judging by the look on you’re face, I think I’m using to much energy and you want me to calm down.”

Admittedly my face may have been wearing a freakish look, but it wasn’t because I wanted her to calm down, it was because I had never met someone I had liked more. “No, no, no!” I said hurriedly, “Please go on, whatever my expression might be.”

“Ok. Well now that we, in a way, officially know each other I want to know what you think of vampires. Please don’t ask me why I inquire on this delicate matter.”

I raised my eyebrow at the question but still did not ask. “Since forever I have, well, not liked them at all. And I’ve developed an even greater hatred for them since 2 days before when a certain vampire family came to our house disguising themselves as mungles.”

She bit her lip and looked sheepish as I began to cross my arms.

“Before I tell you anything PLEASE promise you’ll continue to like me and be my friend.” I slowly nodded wondering what I was getting my self into.

“WHEW” she said while letting out an enormous breath and wiping her brow, “You see the thing is that, my-cousin-is-a-vampire-because-of-a-horrible/freakish-thing-that-happened-in-the-family-so-our-blood-is-now-intwined-with-vampire-blood, please don’t hate me! She’s actually pretty nice.” Now she was REALLY sweating, and it truly looked like water was gushing out of her.